Friday, September 1, 2017

10 Tired Racers, 9 Fluffy Puppies, and a Bird Turd in a Pear Tree

It was a big, full month for CSU Tri. We punched August in the eye and left it swollen with new members, a fresh start to another season of training, and a race for the books. The future is as bright as the Moby pool at 6:15am on a Thursday morning, let's dive in...



The Race:

One big Ramily


Four monstrous women and six terrifying men traveled to Boulder to compete at the Sunset Triathlon. As a group, they left the scene a barren disaster zone after tearing up the course. Let's take a look at the highlights:

Matt being gross, as per usual.

Before any of our brave athletes had even emerged from the water, our very own Matt Burnett got pooped on by a friendly seagull or some sort of native bird of Boulder. Photographic evidence is displayed above (see shoulder), showing Matt chuckling in disbelief as his pristine CSU spirit wear became tarnished with what I can most accurately describe as crap. Smelling bad enough as it is, Matt decided to attempt to cleanse himself of the yellowish, chunky dung and succeeded in doing so. I would say we started off the day with a W.

Determined architect or malicious race foiler? 

Shea Mielke reached nearly the same velocity in the swim as the flying bird turd falling from the sky. He was the first collegiate athlete to exit the water and narrowly missed the sandcastle construction that happened in the middle of T1. Pictured above, an unknown racer swerves around the unconventional artist. Shea finished 2nd Collegiate and 2nd overall!

Grant Haley and Grayson Barber powered their way through the oven of a run course. You could say they were cookin'...
Finishing 7th and 10th respectively they really burned the competition. 

Five exceptionally burly men. (Al, Grant, Neil, Evan, Shea left to right)


Neil Lovell and Al Alothman share a love of bikes and it really showed in their race performance. Neil and his bike, Cersei the Cervelo, kissed the bike course goodbye without remorse. It was as if Al had committed some sort of crime on the bike, because he got off and he was cruising. The kind of running you only see from a hardened criminal.

Evan DeVincenzo bounced back from being sick and put the pedal to the metal despite feeling like bird turd. He cashed in a whopping 17th place as he crossed the finish line. 

Collegiate and Age Group women seconds away from taking a plunge

Elise Lagerstrom proved herself a force to be reckoned with on the course. Her race looked more like a biological anomaly. She started the competition a horizontal aquatic sea creature, transitioned into a two wheeled speed machine, and morphed into her final form as a two legged antelope, galloping the 10k with incredible elegance. She trotted across the finish line in 3rd place (collegiate).

Molly and Laila, lost and confused.

Molly Lesser and Laila Al Adwani were found wandering the beaches of the Boulder Res like two wild elk that had gotten themselves hopelessly lost in a suburban neighborhood. They stumbled upon the Sunset Triathlon swim start and once pointed in the right direction, they were off like banshees. The word speed simply cannot do them justice. Molly finished in an inspiring 10th place and Laila earned herself the lucky number 17.

After learning about the race two days before race day and deciding to compete shortly there after, Isabel Dritz raced her first Olympic distance triathlon and absolutely killed it! On top of her valiant last minute decision, there has never been a racer so consistently camera ready. Her ability to not only smile, but also wave simultaneously while profoundly exhausted is an admirable quality few have and all desire. Finishing 13th place was pretty neat, too.

The men's wave start, ruining any chances of  a successful day for fishermen in the area.


And if all that just isn't enough good news, you're in luck, because there's more. I successfully captured 9 dogs on camera. Enjoy:

Wild dawg Grant, sleeping under a cop car.



In Conclusion:

Between all the new members, a shiny new season, and the expansive array of cute dog pictures that awaits us in the future, it is nearly impossible to fend off a smile or two. With Oktoberfest and Pumpkinman patiently awaiting our arrival, it's easy to spend our time happy and grateful. After all, everyday can be Thanksgiving if you're willing to cook for four hours or so.

To properly bring this month's edition to a close, I feel it is most appropriate to allow Molly to bid us adieu.
"Peace out" -Molly

RAM IT!